Are you the type of person to get into bed, reach over for the remote, and doze off in front of the TV? Many of us are. Although this may be a great way to wind down at the end of the night, it could be hindering your sex life.
How’s your sex life? Not as active as it was maybe a year, three years, or even 10 years ago? Although there are several different reasons for a lack of sex in a marriage, recent findings suggest that your bedroom TV habit could be one of them.
Let’s look at the facts here: When your TV is on, you are absorbed in watching it, which means you aren’t you talking to your partner. This means that the connection between you and your partner becomes disrupted. To build up desire involves communication, and lack of communication can result in a lack of sex. Furthermore, to build excitement, skin-to-skin contact is important, but when you are watching TV, you are probably both on your own designated sides of the bed. So, you are simply two people more engaged in what’s on the screen rather than each other. Next thing you know, you start to get sleepy and your eyes are heavy, so you power down your TV and both fall asleep. Another night has passed where you didn’t have sex.
The bedroom itself is a place that should promote closeness, not create distance. But distance is created when distractions are allowed in the bedroom. The TV then becomes an excuse to not have sex because you may not want to miss what’s being shown in front of you.
Sexologist Jacques Waynberg explained, “Currently, we are exposed to so many distractions that the opportunities to be truly face-to-face are rare.”
Waynberg doesn’t necessarily suggest that the TV is all bad, but “Watching TV for two is not necessarily a bad thing. The question is whether it brings us closer to or away from us.”
If you are both engaged in TV and use it as a way to connect and become closer, then great. But if the television is being used to distance the both of you, then you both need to make some sort of change to become more engaged with each other and less with the television.
If you’ve been noticing that your sex lives have become less active over the years and you find yourself becoming hypnotized by the TV, then we suggest either powering down or removing the distraction altogether to become closer with your partner again.