How often do you desire sex? Once a day, week, month, or year? You may have noticed a decline in your libido with each passing year, but how can you tell if this decline is normal or not?
To determine if your libido levels—either high or low—are normal, a very simple test has been developed to determine this along with revealing how your libido levels affect your life.
Balance magazine developed a quiz that measures libido, and depending on your answers, also provides insight on how to boost your levels.
Is your libido normal?
Keep track of your answers to the following questions to determine your libido levels.
1. Ideally, I feel like having sex:
a) Every day
b) Several times a week
c) Every one to two weeks
d) Once a month or less
2. When I feel stress, my libido:
a) Doesn’t really change
b) Fluctuates but I can still be turned on
c) Operates at a much lower level
a) I’m in good physical and mental shape
b) My health is OK, but I take medication for ongoing issues
c) A poor diet and inactivity reduces my energy levels
d) I am suffering from a significant illness
4. My relationship with my partner:
a) Is great in most ways
b) Could benefit from better communication
c) Has become strained and disconnected of late
d) Isn’t serving either of us well at the moment
5. As for my body, I:
a) Am grateful for what it can do
b) Am increasingly comfortable in my own skin
c) Miss my youth
d) Don’t feel connected to it
6. As for my sexual fantasies:
a) I have many and am keen to explore them alone or with my partner
b) It depends—when I’m stressed, imagination is the first thing to go
c) I don’t make much time to explore them—life is complicated enough
d) I only explore them on my own
a) Are easy and enjoyable for me
b) Can take a while to reach
c) Are not the point of sex for me
d) What are orgasms?
8. My diet:
a) Is well balanced, including fruit, veggies, nuts, and seeds
b) Is healthy, but has too much alcohol
c) Needs more fresh produce
d) Isn’t nourishing
If you answered mostly A’s, then you have a strong libido. It is safe to say that you don’t have any hormonal or chemical blockages and you are in touch with your turn-ons. The only downfall to this is finding the right partner with equally as high of a sex drive. This is a reported challenge among one in four couples.
If you answered mostly B’s, then you have a fluctuating libido that may be affected by changes in hormones or chemicals. There are many factors that can contribute to this including medications and alcohol intake. If you feel that your medications are the cause, then you should speak to your doctor about other options available. If medication isn’t to blame and communication between you and your partner is the underlying cause of low libido, then you may need to open those lines of communication to get closer. Having regular sex has been shown to boost hormones of bonding, so the more sex you have, the closer you will feel to your partner. You can start off by hugging each other daily to boost feelings of closeness.
If you answered mostly C’s, you have a flat-lining libido. You’re sadly too bogged down by life to think about your desires. Many years spent with the same partner can also affect this because couples get too involved in their daily routines and life’s worries. In this scenario, you need to commit yourself to your partner along with doing things that put you back in touch with your own body too.
If you answered mostly D’s then you may be asking “What libido?” Little to no sexual desire can be a result of many things including personal well-being, poor lifestyle habits, medical conditions, and even problems in your relationship. At this point, some people just give up on trying to reignite their libido, but not all is lost. It just takes some work to get things back on course. Speak to your partner, a therapist, or doctor depending on your underlying cause to push through your rut and work on becoming a sexual being once again.
How to improve libido
Now that you know where you stand on the spectrum of what is “normal” for libido, if you find yourself on the low end, here are some tips to help boost your libido.
- Cut out substances that could negatively affect libido such as alcohol, drugs, junk food, refined foods, and sugar.
- Stop worrying if you’re “normal” or not. What is normal for one may be completely strange for someone else. Once you release the notion of an ideal sexual relationship, then you can work on what is best for you and your partner that leaves you both satisfied.
- Reduce stress! Nothing is sexy about stress, and stress can take a psychological and physical toll on the body that robs you of your libido. Manage your stress, work on reducing it, and eliminate it if possible.
Related: The best foods to boost libido