It’s true, sex in old age is not the same as the sex you have in your younger years. But just because you are not bursting with hormones and have less energy to keep you going doesn’t mean you should use your bedroom for sleep only. Despite the portrayal of sex in pop culture as something that’s only applicable to young people, sex is very much alive in the elderly crowd too. And there are many reasons to keep the fire burning.
Sex is part of the normal functioning of a healthy body. It’s an intense physical activity that is associated with all sorts of changes in body chemistry, resulting in some nice health benefits. People who have sex at least once a week have a stronger immune system. A known remedy for pain and stress relief, sex improves your sleep, helps lower your blood pressure, and supports your heart health. And, it’s a libido booster: the more sex you have, the more you want it. (Discover the 7 enemies of your manhood.)
An active love life also benefits your mental health. Even though sex is not an exclusive prerequisite to a happy marriage, it is often considered the glue that holds it together, even though the passion of the honeymoon phase has subsided. Couples who get busy regularly report higher levels of trust and intimacy—they feel happier and younger.
Of course, just like you adapt to age-related changes in other areas of life, your love life requires some sort of a transition too. It has more to do with understanding what’s going on and accepting the reality of the situation rather than getting discouraged because you’re not 18 anymore.
Enjoyable sex in old age is possible
Yes, the truth is, you and your partner are not always up for it. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s perfectly okay if you spend your weekend binge-watching your favorite TV series, even if you thought it would have been nice to have a steamy love-making session. Don’t feel pressure to perform the moment you close your bedroom door and lie down next to your partner. Better yet, don’t feel pressure to perform at all. This kind of thinking can be a real turn-off, no matter what age. A lazy evening may mean that you wake up well-rested and energized the next day—a perfect setup for morning sex! (You don’t need to put up with the draining effects of declining testosterone levels any longer.)
Romantic movies, lifestyle magazines, Valentine’s day accessories, and other aspects of pop culture push forward a certain atmosphere that sets the stage for sex. Sure, silk bedding and candlelight look gorgeous, but do you really need it to have great sex? No, not really. And if you’re not in the mood to recreate that perfect night from your youth, that’s fine. Ordinary can be very sexy. Can’t find a light switch in the basement? Walk into your partner squished in the laundry room? Watering your backyard before going to bed? There are tons of ways to have some of the best sex memories without getting all fancy and following relationship experts’ advice to a T.
Menopausal and postmenopausal women often experience a decrease of natural lubrication due to changes in their hormone profile. This is normal, but it can make sex painful. Don’t despair: instead, see it as an opportunity to introduce some experimentation into the mix. First of all, there is a wide range of all kinds of lube available on the market—oil based, silicone based, water based, you name it. It will increase lubrication, reduce friction, and make your sex pain-free so both you and your partner can focus on pleasure. Once you get accustomed to regular lubes, you can try enhanced products if you feel playful, like warming lube that heats on contact or cooling lube that gives a tingling sensation. Mind you, lubes are quite versatile—feel free to make the most of it during foreplay too!
Of course, it’s not always going to be the best sex of your life—but it doesn’t have to be. Sex is like the Olympics, participation is just as important as the victory. Get busy more often, get creative with your fantasies, and you’ll feel young at heart for many years to come.